KING O' THE WEB!

Did I mention?........ KING O' THE WEB!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Charred? No, Chard.

From MAD (EC era)



"Charred" furniture - get it? Get it!?!?!




Reference photo for control group:



The laughs just keep comin' - no?

Monday, November 27, 2006

Another Magic Wand To Be Made Soon

The birch I cut should lead to another Magic Wand. I loved the birch and it had some emotional meaning. I saved a little immature branch, because when you sanded the white ones, the finish was ruined. I'm thinking wound copper spiral and embedded baby tooth this time.

Here's the first one I did:


It's from the tip of our Christmas tree from a couple of years ago.


Sanded and varnished for magical look and feel.


Dot of my blood permanently on the business end.


A piece of sea glass from the beach Crail, Scotland - the wand is bored through in order to capture sunlight.

All in all when you point this you're really pointing something.
Look for the birch one eventually.

And lastly, don't worry, I don't believe in magic; Penn Jillette has killed believing in anything for me. Ecch- it's like Camus.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For CHAMPAGNE!!

Here's a slideshow of a variety of caps from Champagne muzzles, or as they are sometimes known, wire cages. Anyway, instant garbage, but the execution of some of them is quite detailed, and I saved 'em up- link at PICTURE



I'm lichen what I see....(Britons won't get that joke)

Now please don't break my gugliones about the word Champagne. It's all Champagne to me....

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Found


I met her on a shuttle from Edinburgh to London. I thought she was a celebrity double. Then it dawned on me it was her. Her "guard" did nothing when I bent over to say to her that my wife thought she was wonderful- and she cackled a single "haw!" right in my face. Memorable. There was a lone paparazzi on the flight who kept nodding and winking at everyone and changing lenses on-off on-off on-off. I said to an English woman who was sharing the standing-room-because-too many-people-got-on-the-plane (I kid you not - times have indeed changed) beside me, "Wow, Princess Diana." and she said, "I know, isn't it terrible, they'll let anyone on these planes."

Met B.B. King on the way over too, BTW.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Squirrel Hides Nut; Nut Discovered

I got a cool new chainsaw on a stick in order to take down a birch that was dying and threatening to destroy my daughter's bedroon and my neighbor's house. Chainsaw on a stick is awesome - my Mrs. Lex10 made me promise to never bring it into the bedroom. Who knows?

Anyway, I discovered this in one of the numerous cavities prevalent in the ailing birch: an acorn placed there by a squirrel (there're no oaks nearby).


As a way of atoning for this disruption of the natural order, I have placed the log in a position on my firewood holder for the squirrel to discover it. He or she has until December 2007 to find it

Ain't life grand?

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Thanksgiving

FROM THE GLYPHJOCKEY COLLECTION:


Link to larger image at pictures.

By the end of October 1918, 1,500 Ohioans had died of the Spanish Flu.

To Mrs. B.J. Mallernee
Freeport, Ohio RFD
Postmark: Cadiz, OH
Nov 24th 1918
"Dear Cousin
I have looked till my eyes are sore for you people to pay us a visit this summer but no came. Have you had the flue yet. Mae had a siege of it here but Frank and was not very bad. It is on the decline in and about Deersville. Verry bad at Bowerston now three young men of the same family buried yester. Well the war is over and Ohio gone dry ain't that something great to be. [unreadable] bro Billie had a terrible siege this summer of Typhoid Feever. I had to be up there quite a good bit. Belle's little girl died. Bille is talking of coming down to Harrison Co. to live. Give my love to all. Come when you can and write soon. Your cousin Mrs. Frank Smith"







To Mrs. Ethel E. Ross
111 West Main St.
Middletown, NY
1916
"Dear Ethel
I hope you will forgive me for not ans- your last card but I have been very busy. Our silk petticoats must have taken wings and flew away and taken our dinner with it. I am about sick abed with a cold. I guess you mother is going to stay away all winter. When are you coming home. Hope you have a nice Thanksgiving. Yours with love mrs. ELN"






Postmark Coldwater Michigan
To Mr. Carl Clark
Boyne Falls, Mich
November 23rd 1920
"Good morning cousin Carl and all how are you a doing at your end of the state these days, Pa and I who have been keeping bachelor's hall for a while expect to drop our job for Pa expects to go over and Ma from the hospital to morrow
Goodby from Clayton"





Now go and give thanks!!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The Horror of Scutigera Coleoptrata

Have you ever seen one of these things!?!?!?!!



I moved into a place near Atlantic City years ago and the place was infested with them. Our cat would de-leg them in the middle of the night and there'd be a neat pile of legs and a dead body next to it in the middle of the kitchen floor in the morning. Once I awoke at 3AM to my baby son's screams to see that there was one, back arched, on one of the uprights of his crib. The place had cobwebs in the basement filled with hundreds of exoskeletons of the dessicated corpses of them.

BUT There's a person who has obsessively documented the experience of this infestation better than I ever could, with quotes like:

"my sick fascination with house centipedes has led to this website, which I am hoping will cure my terrible fear of them"


"Don't be tempted to do what I did, however, and spray the aerosol can over a lighter."


"the scutigera-coleoptrata has the mildly psychic ability to sense when you are going to get something to kill it, including a paper towel or tissue, and go hide before you return"

Alternately funny and horrifying, it's definitely worth a look.

HERE is the wikipedia entry and

HERE is a link to a splendid image of one.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Letter From Michael Moore

A Liberal's Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives

November 14th, 2006

To My Conservative Brothers and Sisters,

I know you are dismayed and disheartened at the results of last week's election.
You're worried that the country is heading toward a very bad place you don't
want it to go. Your 12-year Republican Revolution has ended with so much yet to
do, so many promises left unfulfilled. You are in a funk, and I understand.

Well, cheer up, my friends! Do not despair. I have good news for you. I, and the
millions of others who are now in charge with our Democratic Congress, have a
pledge we would like to make to you, a list of promises that we offer you
because we value you as our fellow Americans. You deserve to know what we plan
to do with our newfound power -- and, to be specific, what we will do to you and
for you.

Thus, here is our Liberal's Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives:

Dear Conservatives and Republicans,

I, and my fellow signatories, hereby make these promises to you:

1. We will always respect you for your conservative beliefs. We will never, ever, call
you "unpatriotic" simply because you disagree with us. In fact, we encourage you
to dissent and disagree with us.

2. We will let you marry whomever you want, even when some of us consider your
behavior to be "different" or "immoral." Who you marry is none of our business.
Love and be in love -- it's a wonderful gift.

3. We will not spend your grandchildren's money on our personal whims or to
enrich our friends. It's your checkbook, too, and we will balance it for you.

4. When we soon bring our sons and daughters home from Iraq, we will bring your
sons and daughters home, too. They deserve to live. We promise never to send
your kids off to war based on either a mistake or a lie.

5. When we make America the last Western democracy to have universal health
coverage, and all Americans are able to get help when they fall ill, we promise
that you, too, will be able to see a doctor, regardless of your ability to pay.
And when stem cell research delivers treatments and cures for diseases that affect you
and your loved ones, we'll make sure those advances are available to you and
your family, too.

6. Even though you have opposed environmental regulation, when we clean up our
air and water, we, the Democratic majority, will let you, too, breathe the
cleaner air and drink the purer water.

7. Should a mass murderer ever kill 3,000 people on our soil, we will devote
every single resource to tracking him down and bringing him to justice.
Immediately. We will protect you.

8. We will never stick our nose in your bedroom or your womb. What you do there
as consenting adults is your business. We will continue to count your age from
the moment you were born, not the moment you were conceived.

9. We will not take away your hunting guns. If you need an automatic weapon or a
handgun to kill a bird or a deer, then you really aren't much of a hunter and
you should, perhaps, pick up another sport. We will make our streets and schools
as free as we can from these weapons and we will protect your children just as we
would protect ours.

10. When we raise the minimum wage, we will pay you -- and your employees --
that new wage, too. When women are finally paid what men make, we will pay
conservative women that wage, too.

11. We will respect your religious beliefs, even when you don't put those
beliefs into practice. In fact, we will actively seek to promote your most
radical religious beliefs ("Blessed are the poor," "Blessed are the
peacemakers," "Love your enemies," "It is easier for a camel to go through the
eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God," and "Whatever
you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."). We
will let people in other countries know that God doesn't just bless America, he
blesses everyone. We will discourage religious intolerance and fanaticism --
starting with the fanaticism here at home, thus setting a good example for the
rest of the world.

12. We will not tolerate politicians who are corrupt and who are bought and paid for by the rich. We
will go after any elected leader who puts him or herself ahead of the people.
And we promise you we will go after the corrupt politicians on our side FIRST.
If we fail to do this, we need you to call us on it. Simply because we are in
power does not give us the right to turn our heads the other way when our party
goes astray. Please perform this important duty as the loyal opposition.

I promise all of the above to you because this is your country, too. You are
every bit as American as we are. We are all in this together. We sink or swim as
one. Thank you for your years of service to this country and for giving us the
opportunity to see if we can make things a bit better for our 300 million fellow
Americans -- and for the rest of the world.

Signed,

Michael Moore
mmflint@aol.com
( Click here to sign the pledge)
www.michaelmoore.com

Sunday, November 19, 2006

The Reverend Horton Heat - Last Friday Night!

Abosultely the rockinest, on fire-est, show you can go to. He never plays the same song list twice and this time he really dug deep. Buy all his albums now. There was a suprisingly self-contained mosh pit as well. Kind of anachronistic tho. They seemed like the equivalent of people who get dressed up in 50's outfits..

Her's a pic of the Rev standing on top of Jimbo's Bass - Jimbo's there, too. Down low.

(link to a 1024 above)

Here's another "shot":


Now here's a mystery explained: I always thought that the Rev was portraying a chicken (possibly a guinea hen) antagonizing an insect, child, or other barnyard animal (as portrayed by Jimbo) in the following clip:

But then he explained that after playing Atlantic City the night before and crossing the mighty Delaware on his way to Philadelphia, his pathological fear of Bottlenose Dolphin was reawakened. I now get it- predatory swimming and a sinister dolphin cackle on guitar - it's not a chicken at all - it's a dolphin attacking a swimmer!!!!

Luckily that huge Bass makes a great flotation device......

Stuff I Saw


Sheer marketing genius when selling carpet cleaner - it's not bad enough that your dog has pooped on the rug - now the damn lizard walked through it and it's all over the place!!


Not approved for space shuttle use.


Can be worn completely over the face as well.


Nah, nah - you're not seeing all and knowing all in MY house!!


If ya BANG yer finger just TAI one of these on - guaranteed sanitary!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

English Sewage Disposal



Captions: "Piss Off!" (courtesy GlyphJockey youngest daughter)
"Begorrrah! Why ti feck will ye no suck me pit clane, y'half oonshik amodon?"
"Och aye, will ye no mek my cesspit braw as well, laddie?
"Pip pip, good show, care for a pot of tea....and some crap smell?"
"Royt, luv, oi'm 'ere to clean out yer Tom Tit - y'know yer Eartha Kitt, the results of yer 2 Bob Bit, yer William Pitt....erm i could go on..........."

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Keeeee-rist!

Going Friday- the pic of tix - hicks...... and HERE's a taste





The tune is a dedication to Mrs. Glyphjockey...

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Huckleberry Hound Kenner Ice Fishing

Found this Kenner Give-A -Show strip in the garage. Turned it into flash. I had, like, twenty of these Give-A-Shows as a kid. It was proto-Kozik!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

There's a Chinese site that's been linking to me this month - I don't know why - I can't figure it out. Everything opens in a new window and is in Mandarin or simplified or whatever it is.... nothing seemed to actually link to anything...until I got here


Thank God there's subtitles, eh? The folks on that laugh track are cracking up!!!

Here's a whole page of more Chinese ultra thick line flash animations:

and here's some TVBoy

...experiencing problems with a snotty rag.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

My Through the Viewfinder

I was working on a shrine to an unspecified concept when my daughter noticed a Kodak Duaflex camera on the shelf. She put it on a rock and took a photograph of it. I was going to take some pictures through the viewfinder when the batteries died.

The next day I saw on Bedazzled! That there's a whole group of people who do this - !

My camera has a reason for the photos to look the way they do - it has corrosion on the viewfinder mirror, which is intended as the central focus of the images- - a look at nature (in the form of oxygen atoms corrupting silver, like a brown galaxy) on an ambient background field of another iteration of nature.

The site seems to be down, so here are my images:











Wednesday, November 08, 2006

80's Japanese Artifact: STEVE Magazine


Steve Magazine

Conservatively clad girls, adulation for Michael Jackson, a "sex clinic" that has 11th hour circumcision explanations and general anime fueled male confusion all kind of add up to some misbegotten spawn of Tiger Beat and Penthouse......

anyway lighten up on me - it's an artifact