KING O' THE WEB!

Did I mention?........ KING O' THE WEB!

Friday, August 29, 2008

Generic Teen

Smoke In. Sleep In. Bed In. Love In. Be In. Sit In. What could be left?




Teen In 1968 - a weird sort of a rock magazine and comic that featured characters that were of that generic Archie clone look. US manga, huh? But overall intended for chicks. That's right I said it - I said "Chicks". Chicks chicks chicks.

A lot of the regular schtick......(rhymes with chick, no?)



also a romance story that was in B&W - why? Was it to save money? After all the publisher was Tower Comics



There was a story featuring this half-wit proto-Moose....get this, named "Animal" ... I guess the publisher didn't have to pay full rate to the artist if not all the characters had eyes.....



Here's that embiggenable-by-clicking tale:






Dig the cool 1940's onomatopoeia noise drawings - very Alley Oop or Buz Sawyer, dontcha think? Incongruous-ish.









Notice how I didn't de-yellow 'em this time? I felt the warmth helped...

But my favorite parts were the interstitial rock articles featuring prominent musicians of the day.

Like this one about what pisses off the Cowsills (link at pic) especially tragic in the light of such bad ends some of them came to- not very Partridge Family at all...



and the Music Explosion (Lil' Bit O' Soul) with much sartorial descriptiveness:



and...and... "The Girl That I Marry" featuring Jim Morrison - heart throb. Haha... these girls don't know he's a raging drunk with an Oedipus complex!! Just get on the blue bus, Susie and Tammy! The west is the best!

Also I always thought it was "Cream" not "The Cream" I guess I stand corrected!







lastly, Miss Nelson was definitely trying to make sure no one stole this from her - I hope it wasn't her only possession......

Get Your REBUS Awn!

Tell ya what: First three correct answers to all Rebuses will receive some cool yet worthless GlyphJockey ephemera.... Email answers.










Yee-Haw! Cowpokes "Lose" Leger Painting


L├ęger Painting Lost

Oklahoma- From Wikipedia:

"Major land runs, including the Land Run of 1889, were held for settlers on the hour that certain territories were opened to settlement. Usually, land was allocated to settlers on a first come, first served basis. Those who broke the rules (emphasis mine) by crossing the border into the territory before it was allowed were said to have been crossing the border sooner, leading to the term sooners, which eventually became the state's official nickname."

Now who their right mind would loan anything valuable to residents of a state that is proud of the fact that cheaters established it? I mean look at the musical, chicanery, knives in shoes it's not just bad, it's bad. In addition, they call northerners "Yankees" and many of them consider themselves southern (most notably Merle Haggard)despite them being a Western/Midwestern state, establish in the 20th century. The gypsies have a saying: "After shaking hands with an Oklahoman, count your fingers."

Luckily no Oklahoman has slept with my wife, but they probably have slept with yours. Think back - you know I'm right. Moving on- Leon Russell, prominent Oklahoman "rustled" the Bangladesh concert away from George Harrison as well as appropriating the Mad Dogs and Englishmen show from a pre-suckfest Joe Cocker - Oklahoman trickery again! Jim Thompson the great noir writer and Oklahoma transplant, tell story after story about cheating Hotel guests in Bad Boy, and draws a pretty grim picture of what to expect if you're an Oklahoma cowboy in King Blood....all learned from people in the land where the corn grows as high as an elephant's eye. Then he wrote The Grifters. Hmmmmmm....

Plus, Doctor Phil. No explanation necessary- right Britney?

Mark my words: Some var-mint is at this very moment eating a chicken fried steak while Woman and Child look on.....

Oh yeah, kidding, my OK buddies! Haw! Please note: I have at no time used the pejorative "Okie" to refer to y'all. Now put away yer six-shooter - you know I'm hotter than a road lizard!

Model Rods



Wow. 12 days without a post.
Miss me?

I was contacted by someone who liked GlyphJockey, and in gratitude for my effort he sent me this link which turned out to be pretty cool, and part of a deeper obsession. About it I refuse to say "When I was a kid blah, blah, blah...."

The observation I would like to make is how cool it must've been to work on this stuff. It was broad and extensive in its heyday, and the designer's imagination could run wild - with Big Daddy Roth as the discipline's Pope.

Top two pics are also links to the list.












Thanks Matt!

Friday, August 15, 2008

The Height of Elegance

This, as a red blooded insensitive male covered in rippling muscle, astounds me.

I RSS Absurdly Cool Freebie Finder to see what free stuff I can get (don't laugh! Art in America, MAD, a Fluke voltage tester, delightfully effective laxatives, travel toothpaste for the stupid TSA & more) and the RSS feed is sometimes less than descriptive,

So when I saw "free sample of Simply Discrete" I looked at it, expecting who knows what.

I saw this:


My favorite line is "believe me, these were not staged.."

Then I saw this:



and I realized this was a product so you could dress up soiled sanitary pads to look like little gifts for the next poor bastard forced to peer into your can full of lady-leavings!! Brilliant !! Quintessential Creating-need-where-there-is-none!!!

Rose scented, no less!

Now, I know not to piss or crap on the toilet seat, for instance, or the value of a courtesy flush- but gift wrapping trash? I thought the modern woman celebrated her flow, the more robust the better!! But, I suppose it takes all kinds, those gals that leave a pad draped over the wastebasket rim like a slice of New york pizza hanging out of a dumpster, as well as the dainty princess in crinoline, coiffed and perfumed with excellent nails, taking the care to leave a delightful pink present so that the landfill's feelings aren't hurt. Al Gore, it's time you wised up about people's REAL needs!

Well, like I said - I'm astounded, but I do have a memory of my sister and/or Mom making massive spheres of toilet paper as their pad camouflage protocol. I mean really a lot - like a softball or something.... didn't know what it was but was never tempted to unfurl to find out....

Sisters! Fling free!

Yay! I'm Gonna Live to be 91!

Monday, August 04, 2008

McCain's Gas Pump



Ok, I guess he Is old... I mean, what's up with this gas pump from that Obama-is-to-blame-for-high-gas-prices-for-some-obtuse-and-goofy-reason ad? Jeeezus! Does it have a crank? Where would the local Fire authority approve the use of a pump like this? Do they give stamps? Free Brooklyn Dodgers glass with every fill up? Well, I suppose when servants "gas up" for you, you lose contact with technological changes. Even ubiquitous obvious ones.

...and he shows Obama smiling, which I think is supposed to look mocking or disdainful or smarmy or something



but for me all I can see is this......



Y'know you approve this message when you're part of the uber-rich aristocracy, and can't understand the semiotics that might trip you up, because "Hey that's a gas pump!"