Joke O' The Day

A symphony in gray, no?

Uh, ya need to go to school for that?

click for big

Frankenstein

JESTS

My wife and I haven't spoken for 3 months.
I didn't want to interrupt her.

I've been in love with the same woman for 26 years. If my wife every finds out, she'll kill me!

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster, electric bread maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down! So what did I do? Bought her an electric chair.

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but can she climb a tree!

She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate.

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" They said, "No, jump in!"

Three weeks ago, she learned how to drive. Last week she learned how to aim it.

I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."

My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, and she told me it was in the lake.

Fashion Joke O' The Day

Joke O' The Day

Two fer the price o' one!

Just Say Aloud the Name on the Shirt and Get the Joke

More Robot Fun: What Does Robby Do When He's Alone?

This was on TV and it stopped me dead in my tracks. Thanks to DVR, I went back and shot it off the screen, there are subtitles, because I couldn't believe my ears. Very short so pay attention & most of all, enjoy this self-writing burlesque blackout-style gag.



Forbidden Planet

Father's Day Reminiscences of Dear Old (Filthy) Dad

He made these recordings with a pal around 1947.



Seven years later and maybe fun was rapidly diminishing...

They've been banged around quite a bit, and the sound is atrocious, but listenable in an Edison wax cylinder kind of way.

I had them in a film can backfrom my college days- the school was so unsure about teaching film that we'd get castoff bargain basement stock.



I cleaned it them up real well, and here's the type of disc- Metal center, acetate(?) skin.



Here's the audio:

The first one "Recitations" is basically a string of misogynistic, race-based, if not actually racist, jokes. Being a son of an Eastern Eupropean coal miner made good as a shoe repairman, anybody was fair game, I guess. Either way it's gourmet old-timey filth.

The next one, "Piano Solo" is him pretending to play (he didn't) while saying things over the music.

The final two are ribald songs with live guitar.

First one

Second one

BONUS:
While going through these 78's I found a signed copy of Malaguena b/w Harmonica
Boogie by the Harmonicats



Here's "Harmonica Boogie", because Malaguena had a pretty good ding & I might want to use my phonograph again sometime.