I Don't Wanna Be A Pinhead No More

D-U-M-B Everyone's accusin' me!

Border Patrol

Okay, maybe I'm not Bibi, but I still am amazed at Archive.org as a resource. I'm reading Robert Mitchum - "Baby I Don't Care" by Lee Server, a bio of the undisputed king of calypso and sometime movie actor, most notably famous for his role as the killin' preacher in Night of the Hunter.

His first movie role was in Border Patrol, a Hopalong Cassidy film.

A couple of cool things:

When Mitchum arrived on the set, everyone was mourning an actor who had been killed the day before by having his head crushed under the wheels of a stagecoach he was driving in a scene. When Mitchum was issued his cowboy costume he noticed the interior of the hat was a little "crusty".... the prop man gave it a brushing and informed Mitchum it was the hat the dead man was wearing at the time of his fatal accident. Gruesome.

Server notes that the script was by Michael Wilson, who went on to write It's a Wonderful Life, A Place in the Sun, Bridge on the River Kwai Lawrence of Arabia and Planet of the Apes. Some list of hits, huh? Many of his scripts went uncredited because of a HUAC ban, and Server points to the content of Border Patrol- good guys busting up slave labor, as one of the contributing factors to his suspicion by the HUAC. Funny.

Lastly, and this is the coolest thing of all, it was there on Archive.org! You can own it for free...




Lastly, it's definitely a B movie, but the backstory's so cool it deserved a mention. Plus we don't charge and neither does archive.org.....

Wheaties. Spark. That's all.

Friggin' Wheaties, huh?

U-S-A ! U-S-A ! U-S-A ! ....... 2

Car Wash

Spooky Jetsons Vision of the Future

Whilw watching Jetsons last night on Boomerang video on demand, I was astounded to hear Mr. Spacely invoke "Google finance" in his enticement to a group he was interested in doing an M&A with. This episode was from 1985, and Google was 11 years away. Syntactically, it's not like he was using the number, more like he was throwing around Wired-magazine-style business speak. Spooky! Be ready it happens quickly:




Later in that same episode. we saw this, which had (I hope you'll notice as you watch) that unmistakable Je ne sais quoi, or lagniappe or visual umami that only John K. can provide.
We were sure it was him, but it seemed too early ('85). See what you think:



Sure enough, he appears to have worked as a Layout Supervisor, but for all intents and purposes, it looks like he directed it. I'd love to know what he exactly did to influence this end product while Layout Supervisor (maybe they have that much influence, I don't know) so as to put his indelible mark on this work.

This Is Not Me

When I got married, I ran off with my wife - she was with another guy. But I was not this guy, despite the fact that I enjoyed this video at the time. I love this- the dancers, the falsetto, the spaceman- it signals one of the many death knells of rock, fueled by my jazz and southern rock and new age listening jerkoff peers, who couldn't wait to grow up and embrace the cash fueled dreary.

F**k 'em all.

Weird Fact O' The Day

When he was Texas governor, W signed 153 death warrants. 153 people were executed- like black flag on bugs. A Canadian citizen, a Mexican citizen, some Gulf War veterans, two women, and a couple with diminished or compromised mental ability in the one-hundred-and-fifty-three that were executed.

He commuted one:



Henry Lee Lucas.
The cops knew he killed his momma, his wife, and a 3rd woman, even if he did lie about his hundred-some-odd serial killer activities, some of which law enforcement believe he committed anyway.
Go figure, huh? I toldja it was the weird fact o' the day......

Just weird, I dunno-

Good Heavens! How Serendipitous!

While searching through the Guardian for more delightfully stabby violence and other weirdness, I discovered that the Royal Mail has released these Carry On as well as Hammer Films postage stamps. Story and slideshow here and at pic.

A: They Are Old Men B: Reading Is Involved

Metallica to bloggers: don't review our music

Here's the scenario: internationally known heavy metal band with long
history in the business invites music critics in London to listen to
six tracks off the band's forthcoming album. Those critics then write
reviews based on what they've heard. Despite the total lack of any
non-disclosure agreements and the fact that the band must have known what it was doing, its management then contacted the blogs in question and asked them to take down the reviews.

WDIWLN?: Carry On Camping

What Did I Watch Last Night?

It's hot, yeah? We were knackered and wanted to watch something, but there was nowt on telly. I have certain TV viewing cues ( such as watching Enchanted Cottage, Angel Face or The Uninvited on a gray, cold, day - I know - not completely connected , but they're cues, not discipline) and the insularity of the AC against the mercury made me want to watch Carry on Camping. High Stupidity- Tanya Gold puts it well in her Guardian commentary:
"The Carry On films are not funny. They are parables about failure. The typical Carry On hero is an everyman who lives a life of misery, unrequited lust and boredom."

In looking it up, I was astounded to find that Sid James,

(who pretty much looked just like this at the time)
the male lead in the film (if there in fact can be one in this ensemble cast comedy) was actually on the eve of commencing an affair (or "tappin' that") with Barbara Windsor, the effervescent coquette usually found in a state of denouement as illustrated in the YouTube clip below:



Barbara was married to a gangster, Ronnie Knight, at the time, a real badass- who after a while had had enough and buried an axe in Sid's floor.
Way to send a message, Ronnie!


Ronnie and Babs

The question is: What was her motivation? Did her undercarriage crave hidden smoky aged baccala? Was she losing her sight, as well as sense of touch? Was Ronnie refusing to bury his axe in her floor, if you catch my drift?

Or are the British just sometimes insane, (let's face it - we Americans are) like the time Ian Fleming claimed Sid was his #1 choice to play James Bond:
"The screen test, included as an extra on the forthcoming DVD box-set of Bless This House, shows James brandishing a Walther PPK as he confronts the film's villain at the movie's climax. Apparently due to budgetary constraints, the other characters in the scene are played by James's regular Carry On co-stars. Barbara Windsor is Honey Ryder, a role that would eventually be taken by Ursula Andress. Kenneth Williams cameos as M, while Charles Hawtrey brings a silky menace to the character of Dr No."

Not kidding- Sid James as James Bond - full article here

So, uh, since I don't know where to go with this, go watch Carry On Camping, and revel in it's idiocy while reminding yourself it was the highest grossing film in the UK that year.

I will leave you with the Smiths album cover that infuriated Morrisey and Marr, but features Charles Hawtrey, who played Mr Muggins:


ooh! OOH! but now I don't want to stop, because I have a theory that J.K. Rowling saw this film as a youth, and got the name "Harry Potter" and the word "Muggle" from a scene in it where Mr. Muggins insinuates himself into the Potters tent and the introductions Go something like:
"I'm Harriet Potter and this is my husband Peter"
"Pleased to meet you I'm Mr. Muggins"
combining that with the fact that Hawtrey ( a raging drunk in real life, by the way) is Harry Potter-esque in his appearance.
Burned into her unconscious as a Dickensian situational semantic tool, no? If it happened.

So now I'll close with: J.K. baby! Get in touch and confirm/deny! Yeah!

He Was Probabaly Just trying To Relax

Reservoir Dogs actor taken to hospital after screaming row with woman at London hotel | Mail Online

Reservoir Dogs actor taken to hospital after screaming row with woman at London hotel- anybody know if it was with his hairdresser?

Kidding - huge fan - plus who in their right mind would yell back at him?

By Daily Mail Reporter Last updated at 11:48 AM on 10th June 2008

Hollywood actor Michael Madsen was admitted to hospital after becoming embroiled in a row with a woman at an exclusive hotel.

Staff at The Dorchester, in Park Lane, London called police after the 49-year-old star began screaming and shouting uncontrollably.

He became famous after playing psychopathic gangster Mr Blonde in Quentin Tarantino's 1992 hit Reservoir Dogs.

Madsen

Bust-up: Hollywood actor Michael Madsen was taken to hospital after a screaming row with a woman at The Dorchester hotel in London

The actor was restrained and led out to an ambulance. Doctors treated him for bruises and cuts. But no venomous snake bites.

Madsen, in London for the filming of The Big I Am, checked into the hotel on Saturday with a woman described as his wife and a five-year-old girl.

A source said: 'He was apparently totally out of it when he turned up. Then on Sunday afternoon there was a massive disturbance in his room.

'A guest complained that all hell was breaking loose. There was a lot of screaming and shouting and staff called the police.

'He had a furious row with his woman companion and it was feared they might hurt each other. He was not violent but there were concerns about his behaviour.'

Cult hit: Madsen starred alongside Harvey Keitel, Chris Penn, Tim Roth and Steve Buscemi in Quentin Tarantino's film Reservoir Dogs

A police spokesman said no arrests were made.

The actor has been married to his third wife, Deanna Morgan, since 1996.

A year before being picked for Reservoir Dogs, Madsen appeared alongside Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis in Thelma and Louise.

In recent years, he has been in films including Sin City, Donnie Brasco and both Kill Bill episodes - reuniting him with Tarantino.

Ambient Image Corrupted Birds

This is a series of 21 images meant to be viewed with browser on full screen and left up, to cycle - 1 image every 2 seconds. Images are taken from tiny (1") illustrations from The Observers Book of British Birds. (see earlier post on Liverworts and Mosses) The resultant image corruption via enlargement and compressions is soothing blobby yet easily recognizable color and intent in scientific illustration. There are no controls- you cannot pause, go back or index.

So put on your Mozart, Boards of Canada, Eno, Autechre, or whatever and let it cycle.....

.....or go and see and listen to the birds in your yard and let that cycle.


Clicpic

Mister Ed's Number Two

.....issue that is! Get ready for uninspired art, flat story, and a breast reduction (apparently) for Carol! But hey it's a TV comic!

Color Plates - Mosses and Liverworts

Purchased for one Scottish Pound in the Guardbridge Hotel charity book sale around 1990.



Every color plate from this wee edition of The Observer's Guide to Liverworts and Mosses. Reprint 1964

Superduck - Pissin' Everybody Off !

Super Duck looked like he was drawn by Carl Barks, but was really drawn by Al Fagaly, and he's like Donalds' twin. This had to irritate the crap out of Disney. Also they had to change his uniform from red & blue to Green & red, because he looked too much like Superman for DC comic's taste.

In this one he really isn't too super - more like Donald without quite as much of the anger management issues (he still gets pissed off, just less). Another thing is that it's one 1 or 1/2 page joke after another, as opposed to an extended narrative. My fave type.

Like all good old comics it has its idiosyncratic:

Ads! ads!






Bathing Beauties




Interspecies blue mutants




And a girlfreind named Uwanna (although I think she doesn't wanna)



Enjoy, kiddies!

Audio: Paternal Flatulence and Child Development

An audio story of Dad's (Lex09) digestive tract antics. Deftly and cleverly produced by my genius lad (Lex11), possibly award winning. Full of cusses. He promises me he will do the rest of the audio in a couple of installments. Even juicier stuff. Make him do it.




all last names have been "backwardized" to maintain anonymity.
Also, in case you're bad with math, that's me telling the story.

Yay! Baseball ! Wheaties !

From what I hear, Wheaties gives you spark.

TV Photos - Another Approach

OnkelChrispy at Flickr has a different way of look at TV through his kamera:



Like a series of watercolors influenced by Turner - with spacemen & muppets.

Photos of TV

I sometimes find that taking pictures of the TV is helpful in sharing my amazement at the weirdness the matrix has to offer us . I'm not above TV, sneering at the common folk, haughty in my self-assured cathode ray celibacy, on my way to the regatta with a volume of Proust under my arm, my imaginary mortarboard teetering atop my healthy pulsating cortex.

Nope- I watch TV.

So I was really amazed to see this wonderful (Notice the italics? - That's me gushing...) collection of photos taken off the TV by bigshot writer Mike Sacks. I got sucked in and would have peed if I didn't have such a robust urethra. (ability to write name, put out fire, etc.) You will love it, or I will hate you. No, really I won't. Link at pic and link, link followers.

Message on the Highway

Blows away "Wash Me" dontcha think?

A Sinatra Memory

"Would you like a bullshot Mr. Rome?"

Since PCL's on a eentsy Sinatra jag & it's the 10th anniversary of the legend's death:

First of all let me say I love Frank Sinatra. Not his music, really, because I'm a closed minded jerk who is from the rock and roll era or later (It's OK music, but what am I, some kinda metrosexual Sopranos wannabe? Fuck no), but his movies. From Here to Eternity, The Man With The Golden Arm, Von Ryan's Express, Suddenly, The Manchurian Candidate, and my two top faves, Tony Rome and Lady in Cement......... I think they're all great.

But when I was a kid I used to just hate him. He was establishment, and a pig, and he came from a bullshit world that the new world order of peace and love would crush. ....Ah, yoot, as they say in North Jersey. Since then, as I continue to not croak, my mind has opened, like the ribs of a deer that has been hit by a car and is half eaten by buzzards while lying in the sun. Reluctantly, in a dessicated fashion, but allowing more access to those who insist I expose my delicious vulnerable underbelly. And like Sinatra - so now I do.

So, when I was first married, I read His Way by Kitty Kelly. I was shocked and pleased to read just how demonic an individual he really was, like a lone Roman orgiast, or a vampire. It confirmed my suspicions. Joey Bishop acting as apologist on Phil Donahue only helped. It was exquisite Hollywood Babylon-esque debauchery and decadence.

My mother in law, a new friend if you will, at the time, loved Frank Sinatra, and nearly worshiped the man. She refused to read or believe the book, and when we told her about this quote from Peter Lawford:

"one time at a party in Palm Springs he got so mad at some poor girl that he slammed her through a plate glass window. There was shattered glass and blood all over the place and the girl's arm was nearly severed . . . Frank paid her off later and the whole thing was hushed up, of course."

She replied,

"Oh he was just trying to relax............she was probably bothering him."

Flying

I recently flew Frontier, a lovely airline with friendly staff and little maps of our progression across the USA! USA! USA!



I wqs impressed with their safety guide, which was rendered in lovely gradients, as opposed to the simpler fills used by the printers of other airline safety guides:



And their use of celebrities, as illustrated by this image of Quentin Tarantino donning an oxygen mask:



But what caught my eye was this "check to see if the coast is clear" portion of the brochure:



REALLY thorough don'tcha think?

My Three Year Old Most Assuredly Cannot Do That

Robert Rauschenberg RIP.



Obit at Huffington Post

Oh, Someone's 'Avin a Larf, Ain't They?

I had a subscription to SEED the most unreadable science magazine in existence. It's as if the folks at Interview and Nylon said, "Hey! let's do a science magazine! We'll make it all edgy and stuff!"

It's ending. The insert obscuring the front cover had this:




More appropriate for Hustler, wouldn't ya think?

Boner: Republicans Vote Against Moms; No Word Yet on Puppies, Kittens - washingtonpost.com- Dana Milbank

So, it's pronounced "Boner" right?
Uh, Demmycrat liberals are weak, I tells ya! Next they'll want Gubmint subsidized greeting cards fer their mommas - mommas who seem to fail to realize they're volunteers and should not require recognition - printed in Cuba, no less!
Sorry honey- the Clinique gift with purchase is goin' back!


Republicans Vote Against Moms; No Word Yet on Puppies, Kittens - washingtonpost.com (Full Story)

On Wednesday afternoon, the House had just voted, 412 to 0, to pass H. Res. 1113, "Celebrating the role of mothers in the United States and supporting the goals and ideals of Mother's Day," when Rep. Todd Tiahrt (R-Kan.), rose in protest.

"Mr. Speaker, I move to reconsider the vote," he announced.

Rep. Kathy Castor (D-Fla.), who has two young daughters, moved to table Tiahrt's request, setting up a revote. This time, 178 Republicans cast their votes against mothers.

It has long been the custom to compare a popular piece of legislation to motherhood and apple pie. Evidently, that is no longer the standard. Worse, Republicans are now confronted with a John Kerry-esque predicament: They actually voted for motherhood before they voted against it.

Republicans, unhappy with the Democratic majority, have been using such procedural tactics as this all week to bring the House to a standstill, but the assault on mothers may have gone too far. House Minority Leader John Boehner, asked yesterday to explain why he and 177 of his colleagues switched their votes, answered: "Oh, we just wanted to make sure that everyone was on record in support of Mother's Day."

By voting against it?

If Boehner's explanation doesn't make much sense, he's been under a great deal of stress lately.

There's the case of one member of his caucus, Rep. Vito Fossella (N.Y.); the father of three from Staten Island yesterday announced that he has a fourth, a 3-year-old love child with a woman from Virginia. That admission was prompted by his drunken-driving arrest in Virginia last week, when he told police he was on his way to see his daughter. "I think Mr. Fossella is going to have some decisions to make over the weekend," Boehner said at his news conference yesterday, cutting Fossella loose. Fossella was spotted on the House floor, in tears, speaking to the chaplain.

For the record, Fossella did not participate in the Mother's Day vote.

Neither is Boehner likely to be helped by a Senate ethics committee decision yesterday exonerating Sen. David Vitter (R-La.) over his use of the "D.C. Madam's" call girls. The Senate cleared him because the prostitution occurred when he was in the House -- and the House can't punish him because he left for the Senate. The madam, meanwhile, killed herself by hanging last week.

Charlie Brooker's Got a Good One Today

I didn't set out to write a weird existential column this morning, but hey: I'm fast asleep myself. Sue me when you wake up.

I read Charlie, one of the writers of the spectacular Nathan Barley, in the Guardian every time he has a column in there. He can be found in my horror-rich hyper-violent "guardian clippings" in the right sidebar.

Today's is especially good. It's what Atheists do instead of praying.

OM elet (A Haiku)

a haiku:

Beads pretend they're eggs;
Robin cannot find her kids;
Budgie's egg is weird.

Mangling and Wangling

Allow me to tentatively say that after quite a bit of wangling and mangling GlyphJockey may be back from rumors of an untimely demise. A warning to future bloggers: If you use Blogger(tm) - DON'T GO FTP. It's like torture...... with zero support. I wish I could get off of it, but there's nothing out there that can find my earlier posts to import, so I'm stuck with " Your Blog Posted With Errors" or "Your blog is taking longer than usual, etc. etc." It's like Blogger(tm) wants to punish those who have their act together. So, if you know of a tool that is perfect, write me.

Maybe I'll just rebuild it all in a blogspot and pull the plug when I'm done. I dunno. Web 2.0 kind killed the need for non-monetized (I should be so lucky) hosting.

What the Hell Is That ?!?!?

These are the two types of button battery most used in my household. I bought them at the flea market because everybody knows that the hands of underfed prisoners and/or children make better batteries, because they're so small. (Yay! Olympics! Look the Other Way, USA!)



But then I noticed this:


WTF?!? I want a "Cellular phone call detector watch" Because what if I can't see hear or feel my call alerts in my actual phone?